im speechless...

haiz...
i don't know how to start it...
my head...
my mind...
my soul...
all empty...
it is not my life are not happy...
but...
i don't know what it is...
that makes me feel empty...

sometimes...
i think it is my love prob...
but it is not...
because i am not asking anything in for it...
i am not asking that girl to accept me...
but sometimes...
i am tired...
tired of waiting...
but i can still wait...
and i will wait till the last breath of my life...
if i have to...

i know...
how u feel right now... my dear...
i admit my mistake...
for telling you the truth...
that i love you...
but i have to...
i thought it is ok after i confess to you...
face to face...
the thing i never did before...
although i have experienced...

but...
what in my mind is...
why don't you just reject me???
you can reject me anytime you want...
but you didn't do it...
why???

its ok...
as long as you didn't answer me...
i will wait...
wait...
and wait...
until you give me the answer...
and even the answer...
might hurt me...
i will never regret it...
honestly...

haha...
my beloved friend...
i know you are so hot with me at the moment you read this post...
i cannot blame you...
you can...
like you told me before...
i admit all of it...
true...
but...
i can't...
i wish i can do as what you had suggest to me...
maybe one day...

yes...
as i told you my friend...
i will choose friendship compared to my love relationship...
i will and always choose my friend...
but in this case...
i am too blind...
i am too dumb...
i also don't know why i am like this...
i let my self be love's slave...
i let my self being bullied by love...
i am lost in this battle...

to my beloved friend...
thank you for listening to my story...
although it is not a nice story...
if other people,they will say i am a bored person...
because always keep telling the story...
but you never say anything...
from the beginning...
until now...
thanks a lot my friend...

i promised to you, readers...
and you, my beloved friend...
and you, my dear...
and my self...
i will try to change my self...
to be a better human...